My super awesome socket collection

As awesome as it is to be exclusively on crutches every day (not that awesome) I am ready to get back in my prosthesis. My leg still hurts a bit, but I feel like it is at a point that it will be ok in a prosthesis. So yesterday I decided to try to get back into my old prosthesis. The only problem was, the socket was way too small. Since I have been out of a socket for a long time, my leg has gotten a good deal larger.

So I back tracked and pulled out the next to last socket I had, attached it to the cleg and tried again. Still too small. I ended up going back through every socket I’ve had made, and all of them are too small for me now. It looks like we are starting over at square one. Oh well, if that’s what I have to do, that’s what I have to do! I want to get walking again as soon as possible and can’t wait to be back on my feet!

Despite my initial reluctance to rent the scooter for getting around Augusta National, it ended up being great! I actually forgot the keys on Thursday and had to use my crutches, so we stayed up around the entrance by number 1 and the number 9 green. Even just walking those hills up there made me appreciate the scooter more when I had it the next day. We took off after the final group came through #9 on Thursday since we had 3 more days out there and might as well wait until we had the scooter to go down to the bottom half of the course.

The Handy Sticker came in useful as it always does, but it was especially awesome at Augusta. Normally you have to park a decent ways away and walk up a big hill, but with the handicap sticker we were able to get right up next to the entrance. Even better than the location though was how easy it was to get out! Parked down in the normal lots traffic locks you in for a good hour+ after each round. We never had any traffic leaving the handicap lot though!

The final awesome benefit of being handicapped at the Masters is that they have some great handicap sections blocked off for people on scooters. On friday we sat at Amen Corner, and then on Saturday and Sunday we sat on hole 15. The section at 15 was absolutely incredible. We were against the ropes, right next to the green. Here is a picture I took when I looked back over the TV footage. My brother Jack is the one on the right side of the screen in the bucket hat, front and center on TV as the leaders came through!

As always we had an absolutely incredible time down there. It is such a fun event, made even more fun by being able to spend it with our family. Sunday is always so bittersweet because the action is so intense that you can’t wait to see what happens next, but you also know that it is quickly coming to an end and you have to wait another year to do it again!

And if you missed the double eagle, you should go to the Masters website and check it out. I’ve never heard a roar like that at the Masters before and doubt I ever will again, until someone else does it anyway!

Personal perception is a funny thing. We all take a certain amount of pride in our appearance and anything that affects that can really throw people off. I was stopped by someone a couple of months ago when I was grocery shopping. I was on my crutches and he called me over and asked me how long I had been an amputee. I told him it had been just under a year and he said he had been an amputee for 7 years now. He had also lost his leg to cancer and he told me about how hard the adjustment had been for him. To this day he has still not worn shorts with his prosthesis.

This is something I can relate to in a relative way. I have pretty much only worn shorts with my prosthesis, because I don’t really care and I think the technology is cool. But when my bone spur and neuroma popped up, I didn’t want to go out or be seen on my crutches. Stupid right? For whatever reason, I didn’t care if people knew I was an amputee and on a prosthesis, but being an amputee on crutches really felt embarrassing to me all of a sudden.

I think it was because it felt like I was back tracking. I was pushing myself hard and was proud of my progress, and now, due to issues beyond my control I was slammed back to reality and put in check. It was a blow to my ego as much as anything and it was hard to admit that I couldn’t just push right through this like I had done with everything else.

After I was on my crutches for a week or so I no longer cared about being on crutches. It became my new normal and just what I did. Today I have found myself in yet another similar situation though. We are going to the Masters this week and I am renting a mobility scooter in order to get around the course. Really!?? A mobility scooter??? When did I turn 80?

I have tried to tell myself that I could just use my crutches and be fine. And I still think I probably could for the most part. But the course is extremely hilly and without a guaranteed place to sit when you get where you want to go, your one leg can get really tired really quick, not to mention your arms. This really is the best way to do it, but for whatever stupid reason it is embarrassing to me to drive this thing around.

I think all of this comes back to personal perception. I’m not worried about anyone looking at me and saying “Oh, look at that guy!” — I’m used to being looked at. I think these feelings are caused by how I view myself as capable to do anything I want, and regressing in my use of these different items feels like I am moving backwards when I am still so motivated to push forwards! I know some of these things take time, and it’s probably good character building blah, blah, blah, but I am more anxious than ever to get back on my leg and start pushing myself again!

I also want to get back on my leg because I have a very busy summer coming up! The highlight of which is a week and a half trip down to Exuma (in the Bahamas) this June to visit my cousins. June is right in the heart of the Blue Marlin season and I am really tempted to try and land one of those things! That and possibly get scuba certified. Just for fun. We’ll see!

Today is the one year anniversary of my amputation, but more importantly, it is the one year anniversary of being cancer free!

This past year has gone by incredibly fast. It seems like so long ago when I was going in for my amputation, so much has happened since then! After my amputation I had one more round of chemo, learned how to use a prosthesis, returned home to Atlanta, returned to work, revamped my golf game around my new leg, and acted in a national television commercial before my leg pain started and put me back on my crutches.

A lot has happened this year, but here on the anniversary I find myself laid up in bed again, recovering from another surgery on my leg. Ah, familiar territory!

I had surgery this past Monday to try to alleviate the pain in my leg. The doctor ended up sawing off a bone spur that had developed rather than cutting the nerve like we thought he was going to do, so we’ll see if this alleviates the pain or not once the pain from the procedure calms down some. If not, we’re just going to have to go back in again! Good times, good times. Haha.

But enough about that… God has been incredibly good to us all throughout this past year and has manifested Himself in so many ways. I couldn’t be more thankful for everyone’s support as I have adjusted to this new way of living and I have no doubt that this would have been near impossible to try to do on my own.

All in all this has been an amazing year, and I can’t wait to get back on my leg again and keep pushing to see what else is possible!

“jarret wade says:
Sounds good man, we’ve been pretty mild as far as the temps go up here. We wont see snow (if we see any) until late Jan/Feb. Glad you’re out and about bro.
JW”

This is the last I heard from Jaret. He died Saturday. I can’t claim to have known him, yet he and I spoke quite a bit. We talked about God and faith and what this life ultimately meant. Mortality and health. Topics that people our age don’t tend to discuss.

I heard that Jarret died on Saturday and have had a hard time getting my mind on much else. I’ve spent several days Googling his name and thinking about our conversations. Death is so final, and yet it seems like such a minute step.

For some reason I feel such a sense of peace when I think of Jarret. When I was done with my treatment I remember emailing with him and he was saying how I had things so much worse than he did. I said he was crazy. He disagreed because I had just lost my leg and he couldn’t imagine going through something like that. I guess we all see the struggles of others as something worse than what we are dealing with ourselves.

My conversations with Jarret have been a blessing in my life. He told me that the messages I conveyed to him were God-sent, but he never realized what his conversations meant to me. I pray for Jarret’s family and girlfriend.

I don’t pray for Jarret because I know exactly where he is.

-Rob

As I logged in to update my blog just now, I saw that this is my 101st post. So much has happened since this blog started, it is hard to believe it was just barely over a year ago. This time last year, I was finishing up my radiation and was just about to start my 3rd round of chemo. I spent those days in a constant state of exhaustion and we celebrated New Years Eve in our apartment on 56th and 2nd. I was so worn down from the chemo that I couldn’t even keep my head up to look through the camera and take pictures of the fireworks.

I am so thankful for my family and their support through all of this. They have helped me so much and encouraged me throughout everything. Today is just one more example of that. This morning when I woke up, the first thing I heard was LeeAnne yelling upstairs asking me if I wanted to go horseback riding. One thing I love about being in the south is having great weather over our holidays! I always hear people say they want it to be cold on Christmas, but I couldn’t feel more opposed to that sentiment. I like to be able to get outside and enjoy the days I have off from work! So today we went riding.

LeeAnne has been riding for a long time, and she is very good. This was the first time I have sat on a horse since I rode one of my aunt’s horses when I was a kid. It was a lot of fun! I can see why LeeAnne likes it so much. You are out in beautiful country, running around the hills with these incredible animals. It was a great way to spend the afternoon to say the least!

LeeAnne’s instructor is named Bob and he is a great guy. He told me that he had been thinking about how he was going to have me get on and off the horse since my mom called him the other day. He said he had an idea, but really we’d just play it by ear and see how things seemed to go. I laughed and said that that is pretty much how I live these days. I couldn’t tell you how I am going to do most things before I do them, I just get out there and give it a shot!

He had me get in the bed of his truck and led the horse up next to me. I just stepped up to the edge and threw my right leg (what little there is of it…) over the horse. Very easily done! The horse he had me ride was named Pepper and he joked that it was LeeAnne’s favorite. Pepper is the gentlest horse they have out there, and is clearly not up to LeeAnne’s style of riding. Bob explained that LeeAnne likes to ride hard, and Pepper just isn’t enough horse for her.

He led the way around the property and Pepper, being the easily ridden horse that she is, just followed Bob wherever he went and at whatever speed he chose to go. All I really had to do was steer and avoid running into trees, but it was a lot of fun! At the end we went back and LeeAnne did a couple of runs around the barrels. As I said, she is very good and it was fun watching her ride. She also took all of the pictures I have included in this post. I LOVE the one at the top. Definitely the shot of the day!

It was definitely a great way to spend the 3rd day after Christmas! My parents are currently downstairs preparing a big steak dinner for us, so I’m going to wrap this up and go hang out with the family. I hope everyone is enjoying the end of the year as much as I am!

I came across this video today of Michael Buble and a kid that he brings up on stage. His reaction is absolutely priceless.

What a bold request by the kids mom. It just shows how bold actions can result in amazing things!

Earlier this week my aunt told me that a friend of hers is a teacher and would like me to come speak to her students about courage. Surprised by the request, I told her that I wouldn’t know what to say on the subject. Then at church on Sunday several people came up to me and said that they had followed my blog and admired the courage I showed this past year. I thanked them, and again, was surprised that courage was the trait they picked out. It got me thinking about courage and wondering why that is what they saw.

It occurred to me that what they saw as courage, I saw as faith. Faith that God was using me for a greater purpose and molding me into the man I am ultimately supposed to be.

I remember laying in bed praying that first night in the Hope Lodge. I had just finished my first round of chemo and my hair was starting to fall out. I remember asking God to use me as He saw fit and accepting that that may involve sacrificing my leg. As soon as I said that and truly felt it in my heart, a tremendous sense of peace came over me. The entire situation was suddenly turned on its head as I thanked God for this life and all the many gifts he has provided, including this challenge He just laid in front of me. It was no longer about me, it was about how God was going to use me for His ultimate glory.

With this understanding, I don’t know that a public school would necessarily want me to come and talk about courage. It has never been about courage. It’s about faith.

In the interest of keeping this up to date, I figured now was a good time to discuss my burgeoning movie career! Totally joking, obviously, but I was in a Bing commercial associated with AMC’s TV show The Walking Dead this past September.

For those of you who don’t know, The Walking Dead is a show about the zombie apocalypse. After my amputation I made a joke about how The Walking Dead was filmed in Atlanta and they could probably use an amputee as an extra at some point. Long story short, I sent in my information to their casting director and got a call back about a week later asking if I could do a commercial. I did, had a lot of fun, and here is the result!

We were able to get a few pictures as well…

Today I had 2 injections into the nerve next to my L3 and L4 vertebrae. My leg still hurts.

About a month and a half ago I was walking in my socket and all of a sudden felt like someone had stabbed me in the front of my leg. It was all I could do to stop from yelling and hobble into my seat at the restaurant. I was very ginger on it going home and took it off as soon as I could. I didn’t wear it for the remainder of the weekend, thinking some time out of the socket (prosthesis) would make it better.

Monday comes around. I wake up, get ready for work and put on my leg. I walk around a bit to test it out and everything is fine. I pick up some mail I want to sort through and shift my weight over onto my prosthesis and it happens again, but much worse this time. It feels like there is a knife lodged in my leg. I yell and fall back onto my bed and rip off the prosthesis, but the pain doesn’t stop. I fight through it and rip off the liner, and the pain lessens somewhat. I lay on the bed shaking for about 10 minutes before I can manage to get up and get to the bathroom to grab some of the pain pills I have left over. It took about a week before I was comfortable moving around again.

We have figured out that my nerves are trying to grow back. The problem is, there is nowhere for them to grow! So now they just start to grow around themselves and end up making a ball of nerves that send out severe pain signals with the slightest bit of pressure. When I contract the muscle in that leg, it squeezes those nerve bundles and makes me want to yell.

Needless to say, I have been using crutches for over a month now and my list has unfortunately been put on hold.

While it is far from ideal, things are still going well. I am very fortunate to have Ashley who helps me out more than I could ever explain. When you are on crutches, your hands are constantly occupied, so doing little things like grocery shopping, or even swiffering the floor is impossible, unless you do it hopping. I am an expert hopper, but it is pretty exhausting for long stretches.

Over Thanksgiving one of my crutches broke, so I hopped everywhere for 2 full days. Hopping down the pier and onto the boat was the longest distance I tried, but it is always worth it to get out on the water and fish!

We had an incredible Thanksgiving and had a lot of family around which was very fun. It was great to have a week up there and the weather could not have been more amazing! The picture above is of the sunset we had on Saturday night after Thanksgiving. I took it from our deck, with my iPhone. Incredible!

But back to the leg… I have been taking a lot of pills to try and stop the nerve pain, but they aren’t working. I also started using a patch a neurologist gave me which doesn’t even come close to touching the pain. Today I went in to see a pain specialist. He said that we could try to set up a time in the next couple of days that I could come back and have this procedure done where they inject numbing medication and steroids directly into the nerve at my L3 and L4 vertebrae. It is supposed to block the pain signals being sent from the end of my right leg. He said I couldn’t do it today because you can’t eat for 6 hours prior to the procedure. Fortunately I hadn’t had breakfast, so I talked them into going ahead and doing it right then and there!

They numb your back deeper and deeper until they can get the final needles for the injections next to your vertebrae, where the nerve is. It was kind of uncomfortable when the needle scrapes across your bone, but fortunately you can watch the whole thing on the little screen right in front of you! It was actually pretty cool. You can literally see the needle advancing next to your spine. I almost asked the tech to go grab my cell phone so I could take a picture, but decided that might be a bit much while I was sitting there with two needles stuck into my nerve!

Everything went very smoothly, but the “numbing medicine” they gave me didn’t do a thing. Hopefully the steroids will do their job when they kick in in a few days. I have an appointment for another injection next Friday, before I go to Dalls for Christmas. I really hope I can have this pain under control and get back on my prosthesis by then!

I’m going to be more diligent about keeping up my blog. Not much has been happening lately because I have been laid up with this pain. I just work a lot and try not to move much when I get home. I definitely find myself thinking about where we were last year. So much has happened in the past year, it is hard to believe!

I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving and finds themselves as blessed as I have been with such incredible family and friends!

Cancer is an interesting thing. It takes you on a journey into the depths of who you are and really makes you look at what is important in life. I am fortunate to have the support system I have, because there is no doubt in my mind that things would have been much more difficult without the love and assistance of everyone who stepped up in any and every way during this time.

I was also fortunate to come into contact with quite a few people who were going through similar experiences with cancer treatment. One of those people is a guy named Jarret. We’ve never met, but he got in touch with me after his girlfriend stumbled across my blog. He had brain cancer, not a sarcoma, but our treatment times lined up and we both had some high-dose treatments that really put the C in Chemo! We have stayed in touch throughout the process and I am glad we did.

We both went in for our 3 month followup scans in August. Mine came back clean. His didn’t. We have regularly emailed throughout this process, and I cannot express how sad I was to hear his news. His doctor has given him 6 months to live. I am praying for Jarret every day and would encourage anyone who reads this to do the same. In his last email he told me that he still believes in miracles, and I do too.

Keep Jarret in your prayers, and feel free to follow along with his journey on his blog: http://survivingcancersoon.wordpress.com/

The past few weeks have been pretty busy. I got my new socket, and it worked well at first. However, my leg has continued to shrink to the point that I am currently sitting in my prosthetist’s office, having just re-cast for another new socket! I was excited about this socket when I got it because I can FINALLY wear normal shorts and tuck my shirt in. Before this, my socket was so big that I could only wear mesh shorts and tshirts. The socket is also much shorter than my last one, so the knee center was raised to the point that it is about even with my other knee. This is nice because the socket doesn’t stick out below the end of my shorts, as you can see in the picture.

It appears to be much more natural, and my gait is much better in this socket, but this past week it has been killing me because my leg has continued shrinking so much. This limb shrinking is typical for new amputees and a part of the process, but man is it a pain to deal with!

Unfortunately my phantom pains have remained pretty strong, making it hard to get to sleep at night. People have told me that they go away, normally when you start using your prosthesis regularly, but mine have yet to let up. Maybe I am just using my prosthesis sooner than others, I don’t know.

I realize that most people probably don’t exactly know what I mean when I keep talking about my socket. The socket is the part of the prosthesis that your leg goes into. In the picture, you can see my full prosthesis. The top part that is highlighted in yellow is the socket. The bottom part that is highlighted in green is the C-Leg, which is the “knee.” You want the socket to be as tight around your leg as it can possibly be, so that it is practically part of your leg. The problem we are having is because my leg keeps getting smaller and smaller. Within 2 weeks of having a new socket, it is entirely too large and it becomes very painful to walk with as a result. I just talked with a guy who was 3 years out from his amputation and he said it took his leg about a year to stop shrinking like this so he could actually get into a full time socket. That is what I have heard, and is another reason I like the List, because it just shows how much harder it is to accomplish this stuff here at the start!

Speaking of the List, I broke 90 on the golf course again, a week after I did it the first time. This time I shot an 85. It didn’t come down to the finish like it did the first time either. I worked on my driver a lot and finally got it pretty consistent, which always helps! That was the last round I’ve played. I went out and hit once in this new socket, but have started thinking about some of the other items on my list now… like surfing.

At my company we have something that are called “Summer Fridays.” It is basically an extra vacation day that you have to use during a specified month or else it just goes away. You have 3 days total, one for June, one for July and one for August. I have waited until the very end of the month, but am using mine tomorrow so that I don’t just throw it away. I was really hoping to be able to go up to Wrightsville Beach and try to surf, but Irene is putting a serious damper on my plans! I’m still really tempted to go since I have the 3 day weekend, but I just don’t know. I think it will most likely be a last minute decision that I make at around 6:00 tonight when I get home from ProCare (my prosthetist office). I keep updating the Weather Channel website with their projected path, and was happy to see that Wrightsville is now out of the “Extreme Danger” zone, having been downgraded to a comfortable “High Danger” rating. This gives me entirely too much hope that the idea of heading up there isn’t completely crazy. This screen shot shows Wilmington (which is just inland from Wrightsville Beach) in relation to Irene’s projected path. I hovered over it so you could see the projected wind speed for that area if you click on the picture to see the full-size image.

While I remain hopeful that my surfing plans might still be possible, I have been watching videos of this Filipino surfer who is also missing a leg. This is how I imagine I will be after an hour or two in the water.

Realistically, I’ll probably just wait and go up next weekend, over Labor Day.

On Monday I had my first followup scan of my lungs and the results came back completely clear! Every three months we will do a CT Scan of my lungs to make sure that the cancer has not returned and metastasized (spread). Sarcomas tend to jump to the lungs when they return, so that is where we watch. Needless to say, this was great news!

This is the second scan that I have found to be a little bit nerve racking. The first one was around Christmas. We had done 2 rounds of chemo and yet my leg hadn’t shown any difference in size. Dr. Rosen said he’d never seen anything like it and rushed me in to get a PET Scan. It turned out that the space was just filling with fluid as we killed the tumor, but waiting on the results put us all a little on edge to say the least! This time was a bit nerve racking because they had noted a spot in my right lung when we took my last scan, at the end of my treatment. Dr. Rosen said he was confident that it was just a convergence of blood vessels, but that the followup scan would tell us for sure. I wasn’t beside myself with worry, but I definitely said a few prayers before going in!

Once again, we are fortunate to have such a great doctor in Dr. Lacayo. The nurse that took my scan told me that it would probably take two days for my doctor to call me with the results. Emilio called me 3 hours later. Great news, although they did find a 4mm kidney stone! Dr. Lacayo said that he thinks it was probably caused by the chemo and the various drugs that they have had me on. We are going to talk to a urologist and hopefully we can take care of it surgically… I’ve heard bad things about passing a stone that large!

One of the things I have actually enjoyed since losing my leg has been the handicap sticker. Our family calls it the “Handy” sticker. Granted, I need it because my leg hurts bad enough that walking long distances is very painful, but I love getting great parking, and now I have a reserved spot everywhere I go!

The funny part about this is that when I am driving I don’t look like I have anything wrong since you can only see from my chest up. As a result, I get stared down by people as I pull into my spot. Yesterday I went to Publix (the main grocery store here in Georgia) and pulled into the handicap spot up by the door. There were four people about my age walking out of the store. As I pulled in I saw one of them say something and they all looked over and started staring at me. They craned around and glared at me until I stepped out of the car and they saw my leg. They quickly turned around and continued walking to their car, but not before I had a good laugh! This happens a good bit, but that time was especially obvious.

This same situation has happened to my aunt Joan before. She has very bad arthritis and has had a handicap card for as long as I can remember. One time someone came up to her and yelled at her for using a handicap spot because they didn’t think she looked like she had anything wrong her. Sometimes it is best for people to just mind their own business. Just because someone’s handicap isn’t readily apparent doesn’t mean they don’t have something wrong!

On another topic, I am getting my new socket on Friday! I have spent the past two Fridays in my prosthetist’s office working on it, and I am excited to finally have it done! Last week we worked from 9am until 7:30pm. It is a suction socket and the test socket seems to be MUCH more comfortable than my current socket. I have high hopes that it will make a big difference. Hopefully this will allow me to start exercising and pushing myself harder too, without the pain that I currently deal with. I guess we’ll see on Friday!

Since I created the List, I have been out fanatically hitting golf balls in order to reconstruct my swing to account for my prosthesis. The problem is that when I shift my weight onto my back leg, my knee collapses underneath me. To account for this, I have revamped my swing to take my back leg out of the equation, mimicking the idea of the Stack and Tilt swing that some of the PGA tour players have switched to recently.

Surprisingly, it hasn’t taken as long as I thought it would to get my game back together. My driver still needs a lot of work, but I have consistently hit my irons flush, if not a little bit shorter than before. I went out for my first 9 holes last weekend and shot a 51. On Tuesday I played my first 18 holes and shot a 99. I triple bogeyed both 17 and 18 though because I was finishing up in the dark and couldn’t see much on the home stretch! Tuesday’s round was probably some of the worst ball striking I have had since I started playing again, but I still scored decently. I think it was because the play was so slow and I could never find my rhythm playing as a single.

That brings us to yesterday.

Yesterday I played Lanier Golf Club up by Lake Lanier, about 40 minutes north of Atlanta. I got there early and decided to hit some range balls to kill some time. As I was finishing up my bucket it started pouring rain. I ran up to the shop they have by the range and sat inside to wait it out. As I waited I talked about the course with the man who managed the range. We had some time, so he walked me through the course hole by hole and told me what to expect, where the best place was to put the ball on holes where that mattered, when to take an extra club hitting into certain deceptive greens, etc. For those of you who play golf, you know how important that type of information is, and it is usually the type of information you only learn after playing the course a number of times, so needless to say, I was eager to listen!

Right from the start my game was much better than it had been on Tuesday. My ball striking was on and everything just felt like it was clicking. With the exception of my driver, all of my clubs were very consistent and my short game was the best it has been since I have been back out. I worked a lot on it the last time I was at the range, so I was glad to see that the extra attention paid off on the course!

I almost chipped in on both 6 and 7. I practically lipped the ball out on both holes, and was consistently getting my up and downs from 40 yards and in. If my driver had been consistent I would have been scoring incredibly well, but as it turned out, I shot a 46 on the front.

The back 9 starts off with a par 3. I hit a 3 iron pin high, just off the green to the right. The pin was on the left edge of a wide green. True to form, I put my chip to within 2 feet and sunk my par putt. The next holes were a mixture of double bogeys and pars, in line with exactly how well my drive was. If I topped it or pulled it left, I generally added 2 strokes to my score, but if I had a good drive I usually parred out.

Sixteen was a short par 4. I hit a decent drive and had about 140 left. I stuck it to about 15 feet and 2 putted for my par. Seventeen was a long par 5. I hit a nice drive, followed by a great 3-iron and a 9-iron into the green. Two putt for a par. As I lined up to hit my drive on 18 I said a little prayer. I just had 2 good drives in a row and with how inconsistent my driver had been all day, I really didn’t want to botch it on the final hole! The prayer must have helped because I hit a good drive, right down the center of the fairway. Unfortunately I left my 7-iron about 10 yards short of the green. Since my short game had been pretty good all day, I felt rather confident that I could get my up and down to save par. I went up, checked out the green and took my shot. I hit it perfectly, exactly where I wanted to land it, and watched as it tracked back toward the hole, going a little bit faster than I would have liked, but then “TINK!” — it hits the pin and drops! A chip-in birdie to end the round!!!

After giving a nice celebratory yell, I went back to the cart and added up my score for the back 9. 43. I counted it again. 43. Add that to the 46 on the front, and that chip-in on 18 allowed me to mark off number 7 on my list — Break 90 on the golf course!!!

Needless to say, I am beyond excited to be able to mark off my first item on the list, especially one that I expected to take a good bit longer to accomplish! My driver still needs a lot of work, but thankfully my short game was able to carry me through this time!

Now on to rock climbing!

I woke up early this morning and couldn’t fall back asleep because of a new idea that occupied my mind. It started because I was frustrated that there had been so many delays in getting my new socket built. I was annoyed because I was thinking about how my current socket hurts and limits the distances that I can walk and the things that I can do.

Then I started thinking, what exactly is it that I want to do?
And that’s when I was struck with a great idea.

I have compiled a list of goals that I would like to accomplish within the first year of my amputation. I am calling it The First Leg List because this first year is the first leg of my journey as an amputee. In other words, I have until February 24th, 2012 to complete this list of experiences that will be difficult things to do with one leg (and some that just seem flat out impossible). I have no doubt that these activities will be very challenging, and some might prove to actually be impossible, but it wont be for lack of trying, I can promise you that! With that, here is the list:

1) Learn to surf
2) Ride a horse around the track at Churchill Downs
3) Throw out the opening pitch at a Major League Baseball game
4) Play Augusta National Golf Course
5) Throw the football with Matt Ryan
6) Go rock climbing
7) Break 90 on the golf course
8) Learn to dance
9) Go snow skiing
10) Go spear fishing

Once I complete the list I am planning on writing a book to encourage others not to give up in the face of adversity or amputation. Losing a leg is far from losing your life. Completing each of these activities within one year of my surgery reinforces this fact. If you can do all of this in the first year, think of what you can do with the rest of your life!

I have some cousins in North Carolina that I am going to be contacting for surfing lessons, but that is about where my planning ends. If anybody has any leads or thoughts on how I can knock off some of these items, I’m all ears! I will be actively pursuing these goals over the coming months, so please share this with anyone you know who might have some thoughts or direction for me. I appreciate each and every one of you who can help in any small way, even if it is just passing this post along to someone else. You never know who has a connection somewhere!

If you have any thoughts, please feel free to email me at rrgreg@gmail.com. Thanks!!!

Last night Ashley’s company, Ogilvy, prepared dinner for the patients at the Hope Lodge here in Atlanta. When she told me of their plan I had her sign me up as well. When I was in the Hope Lodge in NYC we had a group come in on Thanksgiving and prepare a big Thanksgiving dinner for us. It was incredibly generous of them and something that I was glad of the opportunity to be able to repay. Ogilvy did a great job, preparing an italian meal for the residents, with several pasta dishes, salads, soups and a variety of deserts.

While we were there I took the time to speak with some of the patients. When they heard that I had just completed cancer treatments myself, they all had some different questions that I was glad I could answer. Simple things like, “How long will it take for my hair to come back?” (about 2 months), and “Did everything taste like cardboard when you were on chemo too?” (yes!). It was nice to be able to reassure the people I spoke with and encourage them to keep on pushing because it will all be done soon!

I am glad that Ogilvy decided to do this wonderful event and that I was able to take part in it. I think I might need to start organizing some things like this as well.

Today Ashley, Jack and I went out to the driving range. It was the first time I have swung a club with my new leg and we had a blast! It was actually a little harder than I had thought it would be, but I guess that stands to reason. Golf is hard enough as it is, even without the addition of a metal leg! Ashley shot a video of me taking a few swings. Luckily she took the video right when I put together three good shots in a row! Haha.

When I originally met with my prosthetist and my doctor in charge of physical therapy, one of my first questions was, “How long will it be until I can start playing golf again?” They kind of hummed and hawed and said that you never can tell and there were a lot of things that we needed to do first and so on. Well we now have the answer. Eight and a half weeks. It took just over 8 weeks to get out and start swinging again. Not too bad!

As I said, we had a great time out there and I can’t wait to get back out and try it again. We also stopped and bought a softball on our way home so that we can start throwing tomorrow. It is so nice to be able to play outside and enjoy this beautiful weather!

This morning I went to the Shepherd Center for my driving evaluation. Since we amputated my right leg I had to be evaluated by a professional in order to legally drive again. Before that I was just driving illegally, but as of this morning I am no longer breaking the law, which is always nice!

We had thought that I was going to either get a left foot accelerator or else have hand controls installed in my car, but after doing the initial evaluation and talking about my options, we decided that I should just drive an unaltered car by using my left foot. I have actually been driving to and from work like this for the past few days and it is surprisingly easy. The left foot accelerator is dangerous to the point that a lot of vendors have stopped installing them in cars, and the hand controls cost over $2,000 with no help from insurance.

For the evaluation I basically just drove around Buckhead for a while with the Occupational Therapist in charge of the program. We practiced getting on and off highways and making left and right turns, etc. I passed with flying colors and he has signed off on me driving using my left foot, so I am now legal! Before this evaluation I would have been liable even if someone else had hit me, so it is good to have that over and done with.

One more hurdle cleared in the return to normalcy!

Taken from the bar at the top of the Bohemian Hotel in Savannah

A lot has happened since my last post. We have stayed extremely busy over the past two weekends. Two weeks ago Ashley took me to Savannah for an early 30th birthday celebration. We had a great time in Savannah, and I started walking around a lot without crutches for the first time. This was also the first time I really pushed myself on difficult terrain (with or without a crutch), and we were both pleasantly surprised at how well it went!

The most difficult thing was walking the steep hills that were made of cobble stones leading down to River Street. The dirt parking lot outside of the Crab Shack was difficult too, but not nearly as hard as the cobble stones. It was fun to push myself though. I enjoy taking on new challenges like that. I think my favorite meal was at the Crab Shack, but Ashley got the shrimp and grits at Vics on the River and she says they were the best grits she has ever tasted!

This past weekend we all went up to Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina, to celebrate the 4th of July. It was great getting up to the beach before starting work and it also answered a lot of questions I had about exactly how we would do things at the beach! We had a lot of fun and I think LeeAnne summed it up best when we returned home from a boat ride on our final day. After we had jumped off the boat she said, “You know, it’s really cool that we were able to do everything we did on this trip. There wasn’t a single thing that we would normally do that we couldn’t do with you, even with your missing leg!” We had an incredible time; riding around on the boat, swimming, walking on the beach, watching Joan and Ashley sprint and dive in the water to escape bees, etc!

I mainly used my crutches at the beach because if any salt or sand got in the liner of my prosthesis it would have caused skin breakdown and irritation. But the crutches actually worked surprisingly well on the sand and in the shallow water along the shore. When the water got deeper I would just hop through it (which I have become an expert at) and swimming was easy and fun as well! It is a little bit nerve racking getting on and off the boat when the waves are rocking the dock, but there weren’t any issues this time around!

I started work on Wednesday and have now spent two full days at the office. It has gone very smoothly so far. I am really looking forward to getting a better socket though! By the end of the work day this one is absolutely killing me, but I am handling it ok so far. Today I actually played 4 games of ping pong with a guy too! I enjoyed the challenge of using my leg in a new way. It was definitely difficult to move quickly and keep my balance while returning shots, but then again I like ping pong, so I played as much as I could handle before my leg was telling me it was time to stop!

I think the key to acclimating quickly to a new prosthesis is to constantly push yourself to do new things that probably seem uncomfortable at first. I was far from certain I could handle those cobble stone hills in Savannah, but it turned out I could! Same thing with ping pong. I definitely didn’t think I was ready to be able to do that, so I gave it a shot and actually won one of our games! I like pushing myself and taking on new challenges, and now that I have this new leg there are challenges around each and every corner. It is fun to break new ground and keep moving forward. I think Ashley and I are going to go out to the driving range and hit some golf balls this weekend. I am anxious to get back out on the course and hope that I can get my swing back quickly!

Boy is it good to be home! I feel like I keep saying this, but it is truly great to be back and getting back to normal again. Things have continued to be very busy here in Atlanta. I have been wearing the leg more and more, trying to get ready for work where I will be wearing it all day long.

This weekend Ashley and I went to the Buford Highway Farmers Market. If you are in Atlanta and haven’t been there, it is definitely worth checking out! They have an unbelievable produce section, with more exotic vegetables than you can imagine. We bought some ridiculously large potatoes and had one later that day. Probably the best potato I have ever had. I don’t know why it was so good, but Ashley and I both independently decided that it was one of the best potatoes we had ever tasted. On top of the vegetables they also had an incredible sea food market, with live blue crabs, crawfish and even frogs! Here are a few more shots I took of the exotic selections available there (click the picture for the full size version):

We also watched Rory McIlroy dominate the US Open this weekend. He seems like such a great kid, and is definitely coming along at the right time. After Tiger’s fall from grace golf is in need of another hero, and I think Rory just might fit the bill. Hopefully he doesn’t let it all go to his head like Tiger did!

As I said, I have been wearing the leg a lot and am getting used to having it on for long periods of time. Unfortunately, because of the size fluctuations that are still occurring in my leg, the socket tends to be rather uncomfortable and painful at times. I have pain pills for the resulting discomfort, but am hoping that my leg stops fluctuating soon so that I can get a socket made that wont require me to take pain pills to wear it.

I have continued to schedule appointments and get things ready for my return to work. I am seeing another prosthetist tomorrow morning and have various other appointments next week. My parents are still in New York and have movers coming to pack up the apartment tomorrow. Hopefully everything will go smoothly with their departure!

This weekend Ashley is taking me to Savannah for an early birthday celebration. Neither of us have been to Savannah and we are both looking forward to the experience. Unfortunately the weather report says it is going to be raining the whole time we are there, but I have no doubt we will have a great time anyway! We have heard that we need to check out the Crab Shack on Tybee Island, but if anyone has any other recommendations of fun things to do while we are there, we would love to hear them!